Goodbye, the Venerable.

 


"Silence is not necessarily golden"

Today, at about 5:14AM, I learned that Venerable Samvarasilo Long Mean of Watt Samakkai Dhamikkaram passed on at 4:30am. Although I expected that he would depart any time due to his lingering illness, the news of his death struck me, as if he was one of my closest relatives. By this time, one more of our finest elders have left us along with his long memorable records as a community’s leader in Brooklyn, New York, as well as in his hometown Cambodia. A part of Cambodian history is also gone with him.

I realize that no one can challenge the three universal truths called TILAKKHANA or Trileakh in Khmer—anicca, dukha, anatta--- but Venarable Long’s passing awakened me once more as the truth of anicca has hit me much harder for he was my mentor and respectful man.

From birth to death and everything in between, every portion of “our” life is subject to change. Nothing is permanent. The venerable’s death proves to us one more time that no one on this earth can hold on to life forever. Sooner of later, we well depart.

The change from living to death also demonstrates to us that regardless what we do in this lifetime, we will never be satisfied for life is full of dukha or unsatisfactoriness. Even happiness is subject to changing. Today we are happy, tomorrow we might be sad; or today we are sad but tomorrow we might be happy—again nothing is permanent. Now I can see that anicca is the basis for dukha.

What about “I” “me” “myself” or “my soul”? It is not permanent either. This is when the third universal truth anatta—no self—comes to explain. Who am I? Is there an I? Is this me? I love to think that there is an I, there is a me, myself, my soul, my body, my heart and my mind but when I examine deep enough I realize that nothing can be called “me” or “mine”. How could anything be me or mine if there is no permanent or non-changing thing inside me?

The concept of the Trileak—anicca, dukha and anatta--is deep. It challenges the way I think about “my” life and relationships. I do not want to accept the three truths. However, when death is right in front of me, I need to face them head on. Because of impermanence, there is suffering or unsatisfactoriness and impermanence prohibits the possibility of a personal ownership inside human or in “me.”

I would like to say farewell to my friend the Venerable. May you rest in peace. I would like to express my deepest condolences to his family members and loved ones. I hope that once they understand the universal truths of Trileakh, they would accept that death is just a part of our life. We were born with it. Therefore, the passing of the Venerable is just the way life is.